I’ve been thinking a lot about balance.

I guess it has to do with the new year coming up. Usually, with each new year, I make a list of things I’m proud of and things I want to accomplish. And then I lose the list and just kind of wander through the rest of the year.

But I’m thinking of a new approach this year. What if I had a “mantra”–one word or one thing that is my theme for the year. What would it be?

I keep coming back to the idea of balance.

After doing some internet searches. I fear I have a different idea about balance from the rest of the world.

When I Googled how to have balance in life, I was overwhelmed by the amount of info out there. But none of it was info I was looking for.

It talked about balance as eating healthy or reducing the amount of work you do or turning off your cell phone to focus on the “now”.

I guess I’m already aware of all those things. I already do those things. In fact, they consume most of my thoughts. And this is where the balance that I’m looking for comes in.

My pursuit of balance is allowing my vices to be present in my daily life. To not be so strict all the time. To allow life to happen and to go with the ebb and flow of it all. Isn’t that the real balance? Funny, but living in Germany has already opened me up to this enjoyment of life. It’s a different type of life pleasure than what I found in California.

I want to enjoy a weekend of cake and pizza and beer or a weekend on the couch without feeling guilty.

I know there will be weeks at work where I have to work late and I can’t have the work/life balance I strive for.

There will be days where I just want to stand on the escalator with the rest of humanity instead of taking the stairs.

So, my pursuit of balance in 2015 might be different from the rest of the world. I’m intrigued by how I can have it all. I’ll continue to refine how I feel about balance and what it means to me.

This idea makes perfect sense in my head, but I’m not sure if I’m translating it properly when I write it down. Right now it’s just me and my thoughts any my apartment, as usual…so maybe I should get outside for some fresh air. Or maybe I should stay parked on my couch for the rest of the day…