Day 5 of sun watch. I still haven’t seen it.

I am seriously concerned about depression this winter. In fact, I think my chances are higher that I will freak out about depression and overcompensate for it than the chance that I actually will get depressed.

I ordered a huge bottle of cod liver oil that should be here this week. I have my at-home workouts ready. Self-help sites bookmarked. I’m prepping like it’s a hurricane.

I woke up this morning to another grey and foggy day. It was the perfect day to stay on the couch, read, set goals and practice German. But I’m afraid to stay home. I’m afraid I’ll become a hermit and wither away in seasonal depression unless I get out and about.

I tried to round up some friends to go bouldering, but no one was leaving their house. I decided I’d head to a coffee shop, get a tea and read. At least I’d be off the couch. Or, maybe I’d visit one of the museums I’ve been dying to check out.

I grabbed my book and headed out the door.

It was so cold.

I walked to the river, down museum row, past coffee shops, and somehow ended up back at my house. I just kept thinking how much better it would be on my own couch, with my own tea. So that’s what I did.

I need to learn that it’s ok to take it slow some days. Some days just have nothing else on their agenda.

The week and its stress, hustle and bustle will be here tomorrow. For tonight, I’m going to curl up in my bed with my book and cherish the quiet.